Don’t hire the asshole, even if they can do the job

Community TV Show. The Dean unveiling the school flag… proudly. Unaware it’s wildly inappropriate. A perfect metaphor for the “polished but toxic” hire – looks right on paper, disastrous in practice.

You spend more time with your colleagues than with your family or friends. So why hire someone you wouldn’t even want to have lunch with?

That test comes from Alexandre Astier, a French filmmaker and writer. He once said the best way to judge a candidate is simple: Would I enjoy a lunch with this person?

Careful! It’s not about hiring someone you want to socialise with. It’s about whether the person has the kind of presence you can work with day in, day out.

Because when someone unsettles a team, it doesn’t matter how strong their CV looks. The impact shows up elsewhere - in awkward meetings, strained conversations, low energy, high tension.

Finding the right teammate often feels like online dating. You’re watching closely for red flags, reading between the lines, hoping to avoid someone who looks great on paper and ends up draining the team.

But when the pressure’s on - tight deadlines, client demands, internal strain - people rush. "Just get me someone." Someone who can hit the ground running. And yes, speed matters. But sometimes, it comes at a cost.

That’s when it happens - the panic hire.

They’ve got the credentials. A sharp CV. A smooth interview. They make the shortlist in record time.

A few weeks in, the numbers look good. But something’s shifted. People are more guarded. Conversations get shorter. The team feels quieter, less connected. You can feel the tension, even if no one’s naming it.

You didn’t hire a star. You hired a storm.

Competence is often easier to recognise - and storms usually know how to impress. Character takes more work to uncover. But in the long run, it’s character that keeps teams steady, especially when things get tough.

As Simon Sinek explained, even the Navy SEALs choose trust over performance. Reliability over brilliance. Every single time.

So how do you catch the wrong hire before it’s too late?

🚩 They dismiss culture as a priority. When asked about team fit, values, or audience, they brush it off - or pivot back to results. They talk about past wins, not how they achieved them with others.

🚩 They show no curiosity. They don’t ask meaningful questions about the company, the team, or how success is defined. No effort to understand your context - just a quick “I’ve done this before, I know how it works.”

🚩 They talk, but don’t listen. The interview feels one-sided. They dominate the conversation, interrupt, or jump ahead. They’re more focused on proving themselves than understanding you.

🚩 They lean on jargon and self-promotion. Lots of big claims and polished language - but little depth. They rely on titles and talking points, and when you dig into specifics, things get vague or defensive.

🚩 They treat your interview like a formality. They act as if they already have the job. No real engagement, no humility, no effort to build rapport. Just a transactional and fixed mindset.

And ask yourself the tougher questions - beyond whether you could sit through lunch with them:

• Would I want this person to succeed?

• Would I feel comfortable sharing sensitive information with them?

• Would I trust them to back the team - or just protect themselves?

  
  

If your gut says “not really”, believe it.

A bad hire chips away at trust. Slows momentum. Makes the right people quietly question whether they want to stay.

So yes - hire people who can do the job. But even more importantly, hire people others and you want to work with.

If they’re brilliant but toxic?

Hard pass.