No Point Hiring If You Won’t Onboard

Companies focus so much on giving candidates a neat, fast, smooth process because they want top talent to want them.

But here’s what I keep hearing: the minute the contract’s signed, the magic stops. Onboarding is bumpy at best, chaotic at worst. Sometimes non-existent.

It’s like going on a few amazing dates with someone who goes all out to win you over - then turns into an asshole once you’re committed.

If you want people to stay, treat them like they still matter after they say yes. Over 20% of people who don’t get a good onboarding experience leave within 45 days. Don’t add to that number.

What's onboarding? It’s everything you do to help your new hire get settled, connected, and productive - fast. It’s not just paperwork and a laptop. It’s showing them the ropes, the people, the culture, the tools, and what’s expected — so they can do their best work and actually want to stay.

Think of onboarding like relocation

Your new hire is moving into a whole new place: new space, new culture, new people, new tools. It’s unfamiliar territory.

• Equipment is the bare minimum. If you’re not ready with a desk, computer, and access on day one, you’re not ready to hire. Nobody should ‘earn’ the basics. Prep their tools and configure what you can in advance. It shows you respect their time and want them to hit the ground running.
  

• Tour them around. If you have an office, don’t make them guess the unwritten rules: lunch breaks, dress code, coffee machine, bathrooms, who’s who. Show them how the place breathes. The best peek into your culture is seeing people work and interact - in meetings, at lunch, after hours.
  

• Remote? Connect them harder. Joining remotely is like moving to a new city blindfolded. They can’t overhear, wander, or peek around. Your job is to make the invisible visible: set up intro calls, buddy them up, share how things really work behind the scenes.
  

• Be clear on standards - and personal goals. Your company’s KPIs are there to show what ‘good’ looks like. They’re not day-one objectives.

  Don’t confuse the two. Share your KPIs so your new hire understands the expectations and the pace - but break down what they should aim for in week one, month one, quarter one. Answer this early: What does it take to stay on track in this team? When people know the bar and the path to get there, they don’t waste energy guessing - they focus on growing into it.
  

• Have a plan. A simple onboarding agenda for the first week calms nerves - and shows you care. It also tells you how proactive your new hire is at moving through it.

A smooth hiring process is nice. A thoughtful onboarding keeps people.

It’s tempting, once you’ve got ‘the one’ to sign, to make them start ASAP and figure it out as they go. Or worse - assume they’ll figure it out themselves.

Welcoming someone well builds trust, confidence, and makes them want to come back the next day.

Onboarding isn’t about babysitting or dumping busy work on them. It’s your chance to see how they adapt and respond in an environment you’re responsible for - and for them to learn how to be productive in it.

Don’t waste those crucial first days and weeks making them sit through boring videos nobody else watches. Get them closer to the real work. Let them shadow you - as their manager, you’re their first role model.

Hard life now, easy life later. Put the effort in straight away, or get ready to micromanage later - and nobody enjoys that.