The Silent Sting of Workplace Harassment

A client recently asked me if I could run a workshop on workplace harassment. Hell yes, I can. This is a topic I care deeply about.

Why? Because after years in recruitment, I’ve heard too many awful stories - people wanting to quit, dreading Mondays, getting sick - because of workplace harassment.

We tend to picture extreme cases - sexual harassment, public humiliation, explosive anger. The stuff that makes headlines or ends up in movies. Or, more ironically, what Michael Scott blurts out in The Office while trying (and failing) to be politically correct.

And something we sometimes forget: workplace harassment isn’t always loud.

In real life, harassment often flies under the radar. It lives in the grey zone: subtle, repetitive, quietly damaging. That’s where it gets dangerous.

“It was just once.” “They didn’t mean it.” “Aren’t they being too sensitive?”

We’ve all heard these. Maybe even said them. But, what matters isn’t how we perceive it - it’s how victims feel.

Because harm isn’t always loud or visible. Sometimes, it builds quietly. Sometimes, it hits all at once. Either way, the impact is real.

The Matrix of Workplace Harassment

Let’s reframe it with a simple tool: It reminds us that even when there’s no “big drama” harm might still be happening. One sting might be survivable. A hundred? That’s burnout. That’s resignation. That’s someone giving up on a place they once cared about.

Top left: One-time, Severe Harassment “One moment can change everything.” A single incident - verbal abuse, a degrading comment, an inappropriate touch - can shake someone to their core. Once is enough.

Top right: Repetitive, Severe Harassment “Two is already too many.” If a major line is crossed more than once, we’re not in the grey zone anymore. We’re in damage-control territory. Fast.

Bottom left: One-time Microaggression “A small sting, but still a wound.” Dismissive jokes, backhanded compliments, subtle exclusion; small things, once, can still leave a mark.

Bottom right: Repetitive Microaggressions

“Death by a thousand cuts." ”The constant “jokes”. Being talked over. Always being left out. Each moment feels minor, but over time, they erode confidence and belonging.

So instead of debating whether something is “really” harassment, let’s ask:

• Does this behaviour make someone feel unsafe, humiliated, or excluded?

• Does it hurt - even just a little?

• Does it keep happening?

  
  

Final Thoughts

The formal line usually is: build a case. See if it’s a pattern. Document it. But building a case often means letting the victim suffer longer just to “prove” it’s real.

That’s not enough. We all have a responsibility to act when we witness workplace harassment.

When it’s safe, speak up to the offender. Many don’t even realise the harm they cause.

If it’s not safe, speak up through HR. Whistle-blow. Tell someone. What we can’t do is stay silent and wait for things to get worse.

Because whether it’s a sting or a storm - if someone feels harmed, it matters.